I thought when you find the right person, get hitched and settle down you are finally saved of riding that emotional roller coaster ride. But I was wrong, because after finding the right person, got hitched and settled down I realized it's not yet the end of my fairy tale after all. Because I was not a princess who slept for 100 yrs nor an orphan slaved by my stepmother and sisters, well this is not a fairytale land after all.
Okay, okay before you jump into conclusions or before my lawyer friends offer me their Pro Bono divorce/annulment services, let me make this clear that I am talking about my career.
I have come to a point that I already know what I want to do with it, after 7 years of hardly threading on my chosen career path. I found the technology where I want to specialize in but it wasn't enough. This happened a year ago when I talked to the vice president of this certain firm and he told me something that confirmed what I have been thinking about for a long time but chose to ignore (because I am so lazy to move my butt), he said if you want to stay longer in this field, you have to master an industry because technology changes, but the business rules in an industry don't. It may be just part of his salestalk to lure me, along with the others, to his company but I know part of it is true.
Now, I found the industry I want to focus on and which path to choose (if there are options). I thought it was just a whim but after months of finding myself seriously looking for a job in one, it's gotta be something serious. Initially, it was just the money that I am after but after a while, I can feel it's something more than that.
I had a chance to be in a big company before I came here, but I wasn't ready and not sure if it was something I want. Plus I was still a new bride who just wanted to be with her husband. And now okay, so I know what I want but the problem now is, that something is being so elusive! To date, I have flooded my resume to all of the industry's job site, and I have talked to 5 different recruiters. I have even talked to recruiters from London and Singapore, I'm not yet sure where they got my resume and to think I only posted for Tokyo jobs (because my hubby loves working here as much as I hate it, but then I have to be with him). But all of them either rejected me, ignored me or never called again.
My first rejection was with this very big multinational company, and they have this opening in Tokyo. After the first interview, they rejected me because for them, I have an unstable employment history. I was so disappointed and it hit me like a bedrock, I sulked to my friends like a girl who just lost this almost perfect man because my records show that I am afraid of commitment. At least this man told me straight why he doesn't want me, through a very formal and beautifully written email. Then hubby tried to comfort me with "it's okay, just wait, maybe God will give you the 2nd best company." and I answered, "but I don't want the 2nd best!". See, so like a brokenhearted girl.
I feel like I'm on the dating game again because the feelings to deal with are so alike, the hopes, expectations, frustrations, waiting to death and rejections. It's also as exhausting.
Inspite of it all, I am not losing my faith. I pray for it and doing the best I can, what happens to it is not in my control already.
I am still on my journey and the roller coaster ride is definitely a part of it as well as the happy ever after.
Okay, okay before you jump into conclusions or before my lawyer friends offer me their Pro Bono divorce/annulment services, let me make this clear that I am talking about my career.
I have come to a point that I already know what I want to do with it, after 7 years of hardly threading on my chosen career path. I found the technology where I want to specialize in but it wasn't enough. This happened a year ago when I talked to the vice president of this certain firm and he told me something that confirmed what I have been thinking about for a long time but chose to ignore (because I am so lazy to move my butt), he said if you want to stay longer in this field, you have to master an industry because technology changes, but the business rules in an industry don't. It may be just part of his salestalk to lure me, along with the others, to his company but I know part of it is true.
Now, I found the industry I want to focus on and which path to choose (if there are options). I thought it was just a whim but after months of finding myself seriously looking for a job in one, it's gotta be something serious. Initially, it was just the money that I am after but after a while, I can feel it's something more than that.
I had a chance to be in a big company before I came here, but I wasn't ready and not sure if it was something I want. Plus I was still a new bride who just wanted to be with her husband. And now okay, so I know what I want but the problem now is, that something is being so elusive! To date, I have flooded my resume to all of the industry's job site, and I have talked to 5 different recruiters. I have even talked to recruiters from London and Singapore, I'm not yet sure where they got my resume and to think I only posted for Tokyo jobs (because my hubby loves working here as much as I hate it, but then I have to be with him). But all of them either rejected me, ignored me or never called again.
My first rejection was with this very big multinational company, and they have this opening in Tokyo. After the first interview, they rejected me because for them, I have an unstable employment history. I was so disappointed and it hit me like a bedrock, I sulked to my friends like a girl who just lost this almost perfect man because my records show that I am afraid of commitment. At least this man told me straight why he doesn't want me, through a very formal and beautifully written email. Then hubby tried to comfort me with "it's okay, just wait, maybe God will give you the 2nd best company." and I answered, "but I don't want the 2nd best!". See, so like a brokenhearted girl.
I feel like I'm on the dating game again because the feelings to deal with are so alike, the hopes, expectations, frustrations, waiting to death and rejections. It's also as exhausting.
Inspite of it all, I am not losing my faith. I pray for it and doing the best I can, what happens to it is not in my control already.
I am still on my journey and the roller coaster ride is definitely a part of it as well as the happy ever after.
1 comment:
hay naku ri.. i can so totally, totally, totally relate!!! hehehehehe
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